Monthly Archives: October 2012

The precarious journalist complaints with a blog “sexual mobbing”

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Olga, fancy name of a young precarious journalist like many others who have decided groped luck to moving, looking for a permanent job. But what she found has been a director, who molests her. The “pig” as she calls him. Unable to denounce and to take legal actions for fear of not being believed, she decided to write her sad story in a blog, “The Pig at Work”.

A story of our times, started on 24 July when Olga moved where a director had offered a real job, complete with a contract. In a short time, the boss turned out to be a “pig”, one that in exchange for decent work calls for companionship and attentions, body and soul. Already at the end of July the young journalist has launched its blog. Posts that follow one after the other and have the same taste: compromises, abuses, silences.

Olga’s story is, in some respects, the story of several precarious that to chase the dream of a permanent job, yield to avances and submissions. All in exchange for a decent future. A continuous hope that things will get better and it gets the opportunity deserved. The journalist called it “sexual mobbing”, hard to prove and able to subtract the first dignity, and then identity.

In similar cases have often been used bugs and microrecorders that allowed to reconstruct of the events and to witness threats and proposals of “exchanges”. Dinner invitations, congratulations, psychological violence and implied blackmail are clear signs of a relationship that seeks to go beyond the scope of work and who are often read as “normal care”.

There is always to ask if the person on the other side is happy to receive compliments and pressing attentions of various kinds. Moreover, what takes root in young people is increasing awareness of the lack of meritocracy. Know how to write, having studied, have achieved brilliant goals, know languages…it’s not enough to be a journalist, in the case of Olga, as in many others. Lacks the “special” relationships. Also being a woman still makes the difference even in a regime of equal opportunities, indeed, paradoxically, women may have a double opportunity. In the end more than the pain of violence, often well hidden, it hurts the inability to defend themselves.

Facebook the home wrecker

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According to a study in the UK 30% of divorce cases cite precisely the word “Facebook”. The research, which was published by the website “Divorce Online”, has been accomplished on the basis of a sample of 5000 causes and it has raised on the blog of the “Wall Street Journal” a heated debate: is not true that Facebook is today one of the main causes of divorce? Not only Facebook, but also chat and Internet in general, according to 80% of the legal members of the attorneys association of Americans law family would have a leading role in the separations so much so that the U.S. judiciary has held that a court may order to a spouse to give the password to access to a personal Facebook page.

There are many husbands and wives who fear betrayal and seek to discover the passwords of the different accounts of spouse on the Internet, perhaps using systems to control the remote PC or keyhunter, tools to record typed characters on a keyboard that allow, in this way to discover the password. A practice that doesn’t allow to use the data collected during the trial, but that certainly opens the eyes to the cheated spouse who at least can dispel any doubts and make a choice for life.

New friends or old relationships that life, with its many vicissitudes, had dissolved. Today, social networks allow to recover them with a click on “Add Friend”. A single click, a thousand temptations to fall. Although it’s easy to demonize this tool, partners victims of betrayal should take into account that it isn’t the medium, but the action itself that matters and that must be condemned. Of course, communications with the web today have become easier, but you can not accuse a social network to be the cause of the failure of their relationship. If a relationship is broken, there are definitely deeper causes that go beyond the scapegoat, in this case Facebook.

Social networks, according to the British study, also, are cited not only as a source of alleged or actual treachery, but also as a source of discord between parents undergoing separation who quarrelling for opening or less than a page by its sons.

Essentially, before answering the big question “Facebook ruined families?” with a “yes” would be more appropriate that we all were to make a self-examination it goes beyond the instrument. If you are cheating, the fault isn’t of the Internet, but more profound dissatisfaction that should be investigated. However, we can not disregard the fact that social networks, and Facebook in the first place, are changing radically and, perhaps not always for the better, the way in which, paradoxically, is living the social. A social that is moving away, with all its “pro”, but also with its countless “against”, from face-to-face.

Amanda T., 15 years old victim of cyber-bullying

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Three years of harassment and cyber-bullying, then suicide. Amanda T., 15years Canadian was sailing on the net as most everyday teenagers. Her life was changed by when she had met a man on Facebook, so she decided to call it quits. He had asked her to show her body and she, only 12 years old, had naively accepted photographing her breasts with the webcam. The cyber-bully has begun to threaten her: she had to do what he ordered otherwise would spread the images online. And in the end, he did it anyway.

The emotion of the chat had turned into anxiety, depression, and her will to live was gradually fading. In September, Amanda had told the event with a video in black and white where she slid a series of placards telling her story as a form of silent request for help. “I have nobody, I need someone”. This has also caused unpleasant reactions online. Amanda had already tried twice to commit suicide.

A few months ago, she changedschool because the companion of an older man with whom Amanda entertained, beat her and humiliated publicly. At the new school in Vancouver say that they have done everything to help her. But it was not enough.

Probably more control over the girl would have avoided the worst. Many parents use spy phones to get to know their sons, to know with who they speak and who they attend, and they use systems to display the contents of the PC and in particular to know the chat texts.

A few days after the suicide of Amanda, the hacktivist group Anonymous has made public a video with the alleged identity of the cyber-bully. In network hackers have provided name and surname and also the address of the alleged stalker. He would be a man of 32 years, a resident of Vancouver, regular visitor to child pornography sites. The man would have precedents for sexual harassment.

More divorces if they share the household chores

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Who said that the sharing of housework bring benefit to the couple? To give answer, a study conducted by NOVA, the Norwegian Institute for Research on adolescence and based on 15,000 subjects aged between 18 and 84 years. According to researchers, the likelihood of divorce of couples in which both partners cooperate in the management of the home and in the education of children, are 50% more than those in which the woman does almost everything. Sad to admit that according to this study, the parity is a underhand thing. Thomas Hansen, one of the researchers on the project entitled “Likestilling hjemme” (“Equality in the house”) explained that contrary to popular belief, the sharing of responsibility for housework doesn’t necessarily contribute to the satisfaction of the couple. In short, according to the study, “the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate”. Of course, these sexist statements required clarifications.

First of all the research was conducted among couples from bourgeois circles and professional, where it is known that divorce rates are higher. Hansen also stated that, in reality, the separations would not be a mere effect of equality, but the result of the dynamics of modern couple. It’s undeniable that in contemporary families is easier to think of divorce because the economic independence of women uncouple them from a sort of “dependency” from the male. In addition, the man, in the case of domestic work may feel subjected to the critical gaze of the woman, usually more experienced in the field and so ready to point out to him – not always with kindness – any “mistakes” and in the event that the man exceeded her expectations she might feel “ousted”. In this sense, domestic harmony may fail. And so, also the trust and then would start to creep doubts of a possible betrayal. Could be used for this purpose spy phones or innovative bugs in the car, at home or in the places most frequented to try to calm the situation by deleting any suspicion.

In any case, the division of roles may be a good remedy. “I wash you, you drafts”, so to speak. In conclusion, this study seems to contradict a recent study conducted in seven countries, which states exactly the opposite, namely a greater well-being, balance and happiness in men who shared with the partner the chores. As always, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.